I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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