you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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