I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
