Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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