you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
