your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
