are you so shy because you have an std?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
