I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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