I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
organizing the empties. That sober.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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