So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
