We tried having a conversation with our noses.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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