I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize