A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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