you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize