i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize