It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize