Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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