he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize