Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
