All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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