i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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