yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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