there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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