I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
