Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
