Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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