This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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