: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize