the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
