no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
