His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize