No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
