but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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