I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
