so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
