I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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