please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
