Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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