ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I party with great urgency now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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