i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i will never coherently bang her
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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