playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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