I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
