Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
