my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
