I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
