shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i out mim tonsoeep
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