As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
