there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
