May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
