Its about making memories worth repressing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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