Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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