doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
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