so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
