Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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