Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize