The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
