do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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