they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
