Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
