oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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