Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
someone threw a dead crab at me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
