I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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