You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
