It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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