You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
