I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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